Matt pitches Perfect Game at Hurricane's, Receives Stealth's Approval

I'm not gonna go into detail... I'll let you interpret the headline for yourself.
           - M. Night Thunder

Friday Pump Up Jam Taking You Into The Weekend

Hurricane Earl can eat shit, nothing comes in between me and my nightlife...NOTHING!

-Matt

Thirsty Thursday Showdown: Strip Teasing Got Girls Pleasing

Fact: Stripping is every girls dream. To a chick it's sounds so fun! They get to dance all day, where high heels, play dress up, and the best part is they get to wear tons of glitter. Helllloo dream job!

But seriously being a stripper is a really tough job. Why do you think they get paid so well? Taking their clothes off, shoving dollar bills down their g-string, smelling like a million disgruntled fathers, strippers just don't get enough credit.

So here is to this weeks showdown hoe down!  In one corner we have the blonde bombshell practicing her special move the "head drop", nothing turns a man on more than seeing a blonde and her hallow head hit the floor 4 feet from the ground, and that sexy moan after the move?  Well that will get you every time. Then we have the opponent, "yelande el gato los pantalones" with the immigrant face plant. Ohh papai! You can tell at first she wasn't going to pull out her go to move until she got the smack to the booty..got her adrenaline flowing.

Who you got?



VS.



-Matt

Taking Not Giving a Fuck to the Next Level

Have you ever not given a fuck? Do you often not give a fuck? Well let me tell you something, you should start not giving a flying fuck when you’re out with your bffls or besties, or whatever gay name you call your group of friends. Those who don’t give a fuck are so much cooler to hang out with than regular people who give way too much of a fuck, always worrying about doing or saying something wrong. These people live to achieve normal. There is no way they can go above normal since normal is their highest point. People who don’t give a fuck have a base point of normal; they can only go higher, perhaps to extraordinary or spectacular… in certain cases STEALTHMATIC. I know what you all are thinking, “jump off Super Stealth’s dick already.” But the fact of the matter is, Stealth has enough dick to go around (no homo). This dude could not give less of a fuck if you tried to squeeze it out of his body with the jaws of life. One night Stealth was in the process of unhooking some girl’s bra as she was being chatted up by another guy. The guy tried to start shit with Stealth, but Stealth wasn’t having it and gave the girl to the guy… he had bigger fish to fry that night. Someone who gives a fuck would never even fathom doing this, never mind actually attempt it. This is why hanging out with Stealth is so much fun. He’s not afraid to push the social boundaries.

This brings me to my next point which has motivated me to give even less of a fuck….Recently, I was at a bar with my friends. Some guy got up from his seat, and pulled a Ronnie on some other dude. ONE SHOT KED. Dude fell like a whore’s blood pressure when church is over.  Straight to the ground.  Blood all over some chick who they were apparently fighting over. Dude didn’t even say one word… just walked to the exit cause he knew he was getting the boot. Didn’t say sorry to the girl for giving her a blood shower either.

What I’m trying to say here….is that  if we could all just give less of a fuck and do crazy shit when we are out at bars, every weekend would be the best weekend of our lives.  Social norms exist because they are made to be broken. People who follow the rules and do everything by the book die all crinkly and sour because they have no stories to tell their grandchildren. If they gave a fuck less, they would probably die just crinkly as opposed to sour and crinkly. They might even be more crinkly in their faces because of all the laughing they will have done from not giving a fuck.

Next time you’re at a bar being all lame and shit, remember this article, and do something that would make your time worthwhile, or else…. GO FUCK YOURSELF literally… because in the end, you’re just fucking yourself over.

-          M. Night Thunder

How to Get Rid Of The Clock Blocker: The Less Attractive Friend

Picture a typical weekend night when you walk into the bar, you order a drink and the creeping begins.  You look around and you notice a lot of girl twosomes, we've all seen this situation at the bars/clubs,  the two chicks together hanging out.  It usually consist of one girl being hot, and then we have the less attractive one or the "ugly friend".

Getting rid of this notorious cock blocker is a tough situation because your target will not want to leave her friend or make her friend feel left out.  So naturally you will walk up to your target and try to talk to her; 1 of 2 things will happen, your target will ignore you so she doesn't leave her friend standing alone or the cock blocker will pull your target away and will be a bitch toward you making snub comments, you may get a few words in but trust me with the ugly friend being there you wont get far.  So before you walk over and talk to the hottie, let the disarming begin.

You will have to first talk to the cock blocker and recruit her and make her be on your side by making a connection, once on your side she will let her guard down, not only will she not cock block you, she will help you pick her friend up.  To do this follow this simple conversation starter..

Go up the the cock blocker, pick a random name in your head...lets use Mary(since its a ugly name)

now to make things easy I'll just write in script format.

Guy: (talking to the ugly cockblocker chick) Hi! Mary?
Cockblocker: Ummmmmm, no.
Guy: I'm sorry, you just look so much like Mary, my buddy Frank's ex.
Cockblocker: Really?
Guy: Yeah, it's too bad he's not here right now. He'd totally be all over you. He's one of those guys who always seems to date the same type of people, you know?
Cockblocker: Yeah, sure! (probably giggling at this point)
Guy: Frank's one of those guys. He's a real good-looking guy and always has all these chicks after him, but the girls he dates always have the same look.
Cockblocker: (probably smiling and giggling again)
Guy: So...what kind of guys do you go for?
Cockblocker: Smart, funny, tall, brown hair (who the fuck cares?)
Guy: (looking surprised) That’s weird, sounds a lot like Frank! Except for the smart part! (laughing) I should definitely introduce the two of you. Why don’t you give me your number?
Cockblocker: (gives you her phone number. You win…she’s not a cockblocker anymore.)
Guy: (turns attention to the hot chick)

Cock Block now fully disarmed.  Yes this will work, trust me the ugly friend will not want to piss you off because your "hooking her up" with your friend "Frank" and she doesn't want to risk that chance especially if she doesnt have too many guys picking her up in the first place.  For your target you also reek the benefits of the Frank story, because she too will not want to ruin her friends chances of meeting "Frank", this makes you the "key" to meeting "Frank".  

The ugly friend will help you hook up with your target, this in casing her in your good graces, trying to win bonus points.  She will do this by laughing at your stupid jokes and telling her friend how cute you are, all while fantasizing about the double date you all will share in the future.

And for some odd reason you want to start a long term relationship with this girl (lets not kid ourselves), and her friend starts to question if frank is real, just tell her Frank was really looking forward to meeting her, but he and his ex-girlfriend just got back together and he doesn't want to mess it up this time..Win, win


-Matt