Thirsty Thrursday Showdown: Kids and Their Thugish Ways

This week we got the two biggest gangstas on dis side of the playground!  Who gets your vote this week?  Lets not kid ourselves, both these kids are going to be a future triad/terrorist, So lets just keep it strictly about the dancing..

Let me break it down, after a day of just dancing  non stop (like my iraqi friend here), I also try to cool down by kicking the shit out of someone, kid takes the saying "feeling the beat" literally and I don't blame him, you have to get rid of that adrenaline some how right?  But I have to keep it real with you all; I'm not trying to be bias, but my asian homie Nathaniel is killing it right here, kid...loves...to...daaaance and that shoulder shrug just screams SWAGGER!  So who you got this week?, the asian sensation or the wacky iraqi.







 VS.






-Matt

Guy: “Would you like to dance?” Girl: “Yea sure id love to dance” Guy: “I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said ‘you look fat in those pants’.”

I'm out in town mostly every night, and the one thing I see a lot of are guys striking out faster than Micheal Jordan at the plate.  Its not because of their lame pickup lines, or their creepiness, its that "nice guy" attitude.

What is a "nice guy" you may ask?  Its basically giving a girl a compliment or giving a nice gesture to her like "you are beautiful" or  "If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib".  Its the guy you see buying her a drink right after meeting her (women instantly lose respect) or asking about something stupid like her interests. Have you ever heard of the song "nice guys finish last" by Green Day?  Its a scientific fact don't be the nice guy.

So you want to know how to get the girl?  Lets go over what we've learned so far.  If you want to pick up a girl being "nice" your just preparing yourself for failure and its going to get you no where.  Instead girls love the guy that treats them like shit or doesn't give them the time of day, right?  Now let me spit some wisdom to all the fellas out there; instead of using the "hey your cute, wanna dance?" pickup line, you should say "Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?".  Say that to the actual girl you want to get with and she will get instantly hooked.  You will be on this girls mind all night guaranteed.  Upon meeting a girl constantly use the words "don't flatter yourself" after everything she says.  Also try these babies, "I'm trying to imagine you with a personality",  "What ever kind of look you were going for, you missed", and my favorite "I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good".

Treating a girl like crap is the only way to her heart, I have way to many girl friends that talk to guys at bars and when my friends walk away I always ask what was wrong?  They always reply "well he seemed nice buttt", I always act surprised but inside I know they're being a typical chick.  Take it form my man 2-Pac "Bitches ain't shit"  So treat that hottie by the bar like crap and you'll get her number.

-Matt

Definition of Sexy

If you were to look up the word sexy in the recently updated dictionary , you would see three things...

 

 

 

 

Main Entry: sexy

Pronunciation: \ˈsek-sē\

Function: adjective

Inflected Form(s): sex·i·er; sex·i·est

Date:2010

1 :A person (typically a woman) who can dance
2 : see: Ciara Music Video Ride.

3 : see picture below

-Matt

Top 10 Ways to Know she is playing Hard to Get

10. She says you look like her brother (in a completely sexual non-incestual way)


9. She asks you to buy her a drink, and then stops talking to you (buy her a 2nd and 3rd – 3rd one’s the  
    charm!)

8. She tells you she is a lesbian (a girl who likes girls, nice!)

7. The phone number she gives you starts with 555 (she lives in Hollywood!)

6. She calls a guy friend over to act like her boyfriend (shes trying to make you jealous, it only makes you try
    harder)

5. She tells you to f off (she meant to say ‘me’ instead of ‘off’)

4. She spits her drink in your face (her telling you if you want it, you have to work for it)

3. She gives you a palm strike to the groin (tough love)

2. She breaks a beer bottle, points it at you, and tells you not to come any closer or else… (if this doesn’t
    turn you on, nothing will)

1. She tries to run you over with her car in the parking lot (she’s a feisty one!)


      - M. Night Thunder

Member Feature 2: Matt

So you think you can dance? Really? Have you met Matt? This motherfucker is a dancing machine. If you ask me, I think he grew up in the wrong era. He would have been perfect in the 70’s. Grease Lightning. Saturday Night Fever. Dirty Dancing. Vinny Barbarino aint got shit on Matt. Bring on Swayze bitches! Oh wait…never mind.

I’ve been partying with Matt for a minute, and only recently I realized the extent to which he enjoys dancing. He danced with the same girl non-stop ALL NIGHT. 3 hours straight! Dude just loves to dance.

Matt’s dancing style in one word: methodical. Every move is premeditated. He doesn’t even know he’s doing it, its pure instinct.

There’s only one way to determine if Matt had a good night: the amount of perspiration on his shirt. Feel his shirt at the end of the night. Wet shirt – good night, dry shirt – bad night. I recall a time he wore 2 undershirts, and by the end of the night, all 3 were soaked! Child, please.

Matt’s best pick-up line to a group of girls…“Give me your best dancer.” The girls look at each other for a couple seconds, and then all of them turn to the best dancer in the group. Of course she obliges.

At this point, I try to post up somewhere to get a good view of what is about to go down. He teases her for a few minutes with a little grinding action, making her work for it. She looks back to get a glimpse of his face one or two times during this period, as if to say, who is this tall glass of water? Then, out of nowhere, like Apolo Ohno, he slides right in front of her. She’s now grinding on his back side. She cracks a smile because most guys aren’t this creative. Again, he teases her for a minute or two with his elegance.

As she is grinding on him, he bends his torso down while maintaining straight legs (like a stripper). Flaunting his back side in the air, he extends his arms forward like he’s flying. She is perplexed and has no idea what to do. She usually ends up putting her hands on his lower back (it looks like she’s riding a mechanical bull from one angle and rearing him from another). Seen this shit a million times, works like clockwork. Instant phone number.

Matt also has an affinity for karaoke, but I’m out of breath. I’ll finish this post by saying Matt is always up for a dance-off challenge (only with girls though, sorry Frank). If you think you got what it takes, walk it out.

- M. Night Thunder

This is getting me HAWT!

If I rolled with this crew I probably wouldn't have to lift a finger at the club,  I could just be like "yea I'm with those break dancers over there".  Instant Pussy.

PS - I need more black friends.

-Matt

McFaddens Your Killing Me, Sincerely My Liver

Do you ever wake up on a Sunday afternoon (my case a Monday through Sunday afternoon) and go “why did I just drink so much? And spend all that money? And stay up so late?" And ask "what are these stains on my jeans? And insisted that you are famous on the internet?" Thought "why do I have a condom on with a picture of Mimi Bobeck from Drew Carey in hand? And have a good hour or two you simply cannot remember?”..Don't lie, those are definitely the first thoughts that come to mind...Well, just won my third happy hour in two months...this will be my 30th happy hour attending in the past three. I've attended 30 of these things? Casue for a CELEBRATION! My liver probably hates me and since I only have one of these things I should probably quit while I'm ahead.....Pffffff yea right, lets be real that's why people have kids right?..for their organs...so here I come Mcfaddens baby organs and all.

-Matt

Breaking News... Stealth has now become SUPER STEALTH

As I was telling a very charming young lady about our blog towards the end of Saturday night, she got a glimpse of Stealth making out with one of her friends. I asked her if she wanted to read the feature I wrote on Stealth (she did). I later have her on video commenting on the situation, and completely under her own volition, she refers to Stealth as SUPER STEALTH. She said it not me. For all of you (you know who you are) who think I was making all that ish up in the feature, I wasn't. For all we know, someone is going to call him MAGNUM STEALTH next weekend. I'm just getting worried Stealth is going to outgrow Boston Nightlife and take his talents to the moon or Jupiter or something. I said it before, dude's on next level shit only aliens know about. Stay tuned for the video footage later in the day...

- M. Night Thunder

Rev Rock Bar Interview

My man right here tore up Rev Rock Bar last night. Some of the audio is choppy but note the last question. I asked him his best dance move. He goes "I dont got no dance moves.. my best dance move... THE BITCH WITH THE BEST ASS. What a legend.

- M. Night Thunder