Boston Nightlife Wants to Know

- M. Night Thunder

Diffrent Drinks, Diffrent feelings

If your hitting the bars tonight; buy the first chick to catch your eye a beer, chances are your getting laid.

-Matt

Dance off? yes please...ITS FRIDAY!

If you haven't figure it out by now, I'm a pretty avid dance battling entrepreneur. I like to consider myself the Jerry Seinfeld of dancing or the Nelson Mandela of feeling the beat. Its in my blood, and I can honestly say I crush it every time I go out. Tons of hip thrusting and booty shaking is how I roll (similar to whats in the video).  The chicks literally line up to hop on board the OMG train and try to get a piece of the disco stick. Girls try to be funny by calling me out and challenging me, but lets be real, 99% of the time they're not on my level and it takes me the extra effort to not only make myself look good but them as well.  I usually end my dancing with one eloquent move that leaves the ladies sweating, fatigued, breathless, soaked, and wanting seconds.  Oh and the entire club/bar that has their eyes locked on us; they're not thinking how lucky I am to be dancing with some hottie, they're thinking DAM THAT GUY CAN DANCE! So if you want to have a dance off, then yes please! I'll accept all challenges, just prepare to look like a fool with your pants on the ground...Ill be at Jousha Tree tonight, just look for the kid burning up the dance floor!


-Matt

Thirsty Thursday Showdown

I am sweating more than a Taiwanese boy at the Nike sweatshop right now and that can mean only one thing...THIRSTY THURSDAY!  Every Thursday I will post two different videos with similarities as they battle it out to be crowned Boston Nightlife Clubber of The Week...This week we have two naughty grannies duking it out:  who will come out on top? You be the judge; I give props to the kids who brought their daddies momma to spring break.....Including grandma in the vacation is quaint.  However, when grandma packs her new thong bikini and she starts the dance party the vacation just got real.  Too real.




VS.







PS - I need to take a cold shower


-Matt

Member Feature 1 - Mike

Member Feature 1 - Mike

“I wanna be like Mike.” Everyone in our crew has uttered this phrase. Not Michael Jordan. Our Mike. I will refer to him as Stealth from here because his tactics should be illegal; he’s on next level shit only aliens know about. By my count, Stealth once hooked up with a different girl 8 nights in a row. Stealth owns at least 3 of the 5 best stories I’ve ever heard. Described as “smooth” by a source, Stealth has performed pick-ups that leave pick-up artists scratching their heads. As a silent assassin, Stealth watches from the sideline most of the night. However, once the clock strikes 1:30AM, consider him a jungle cat yearning for a tasty snack.

Stealth prepares for the attack with a highly developed ritual. He exhales “Chica!!” to every member of the opposite sex in his vision. The trance begins. Things appear to move slower as he develops a heightened sense of things. The intensity and volume of the chant increases. He continues the ritual by performing the raptor dance; he tucks his elbows in and protrudes his wrists outward. The dance is not complete without a coke in one hand and a beer in the other. Mimicked my many, only Stealth can use this tactic to his advantage. A target appears in Stealth’s vision. She sees him too. He’s going in. She tries to escape, but it is too late. He locks eyes with her and says, “It’s hot in here,” with a smile capable of melting any girl’s heart. Simple, subtle, and effective.

In rare cases where Stealth does not deem las chicas in a bar/club worthy of his affection, he brings his talents to the pavement. Its overtime! Most people wilt under such circumstances, but Stealth has been conserving energy all night. The effect of the raptor dance climaxes; Stealth becomes immortal. Whether asking a complete stranger if she wants to split a cab or if she can give him a ride back to his car at 2:00AM, no female can resist his sensual smile.

As dawn approaches, Stealth becomes Mike again: the everyday regular normal guy who doesn’t remember where he parked his car the night before.

                    - M. Night Thunder

F**k Me Im Famous

 

OOOHHHH SNAP..Did I make the cut for 6one7 Productions promotional video they made for Royale?...The answer is you bet your ass I did (1:46 mark). If you don't notice me, I'm the one in the left corner in blue jumping like Royce Clayton after the 2007 World Series. Don't get those dance moves confused with fist pumping because I hate when people do that shit; instead I call it swagger.  Unfortunately they cut me giving it to some poor souls during the dance competition; they called my dancing too "HOT" for their video.  I was in Beast Mode that night as I took the clubs name ROYALE Literally, go figure.  And to think that I had to fight off the chicks before this video!  I'm probably going to get swamped now that I'm a bona fide celeb.

RC holding the championship trophy longer than anyone else..never playing a single inning for the team

-Matt

We had Sex last night? I Drank too Much

I’m going to start this post off by making another 7th grade reference. Close your eyes for about 5 seconds and remember going to 7th grade dances. Got the picture in your head? Roll up with a group, check out the scene, and feel the place out. Guys hanging out in their groups, girls in theirs. Then you have the one or two from each group making negotiations in regards to who is going to be setup with who to dance for the slow songs. About an hour in, once everyone who wants to be setup is setup, slow dancing begins! Girls put their hands around the guy’s shoulders and guys set their hands around the girl’s hips (the hands drop after a couple songs). Maybe a little lip-locking and number exchanging happened… that’s how it went down at the beginning of the millennium.

Onto high school. Hello alcohol. Teachers and faculty knew 7 out of 10 people showing up to high school dances were completely chocolate schwasted, and as long as you didn’t throw up in the bathroom/gym floor or make a fool of yourself, there was nothing they could do to prove it. It was during these pivotal years that daddy’s little girl turned into daddy’s big problem. Blame it on the a-a-a-a-lcohol. In high school, the tables turned: slow dancing out, grinding in (daps to Pretty Ricky). The role of negotiator was replaced by that cheap vodka your mailman’s cousin’s neighbor hooked you up with for twice the actual cost.

I’m going to skip college dances because they are in essence the same animal as high school dances.

Onto 21+ nightlife. Close your eyes for about 5 seconds and remember the last time you went to a club/bar that you’d never been before. Got the picture in your head? Roll up with a group, check out the scene, and feel the place out. Guys hanging out in their groups, girls in theirs. Sound familiar? But unlike the 7th grade, there is alcohol, and unlike high school, you can get progressively liquored up as the night continues. If I had a 10 spot for every time I’ve heard, “if I had a couple more drinks…” In the end, the couple more drinks happen and then guys act like they own the place, and girls begin shaking what their mammas gave them. By 12:30, everyone has purchased enough alcohol from the bar to receive a complementary pair of beer goggles. It’s on! My question is: would clubs/bars be like 7th grade dances if only punch was served?
Leave comments people.

                  - M. Night Thunder (Midnight Thunder, formerly known as B)

Killing It!

                         

This is what I'm talking about!  This man has the dancing fever and the only cure is more dancing! Did you notice the absence of music for the first few seconds? My man here was dancing well before and well after I took this video; straight killing bitches in dance battles. You have to admit this dude has some moves, guys probably been up since 5 in the morning, hit the gym, worked hard all day, and still musters the energy to dance solo on a Thursday night.  This takes some balls when you just show up with a one man party.  I feel as if girls instantly get soaked when they see shit like this.  Music or no music I mean come on now guy is killing it.                                                   


                                                                                                                                         -Matt

Big Hoop Earrings: How Big is too Big?

I don’t know about you, but when I see a girl with a pair of outlandish big hoop earrings, my first thought is: damn, this girl is looking for some D in her P. Let’s not confuse the average big hoop wearer with the chonga. Same genus, different species. For those of who don’t know, a chonga is a Latina who thinks she’s all that. Big hoop earrings are a staple in the daily wardrobe of a chonga. The average chonga has an accent that is disgusting even though she was born in America, chews 6-13 pieces of gum at a time, and generally is pretty fucking annoying. So you must be thinking… are all chongas whores? In my opinion they are, but that is an argument for a different day. I digress.

At this point, you either agree or disagree with my insinuation that big hoop wearers are avid riders of the disco stick. For those who completely disagree, I will relive the moment that led me to believe that big hoop wearers are on a mission:

A friend of a friend wants me to watch her purse while she goes to the bathroom. As she gets back, I tell her that the loop on her purse looks like a ginormous big hoop earring. She turns to me in the straightest face and says, “The bigger the hoop the bigger the whore: when I wear mine, I wear them below the shoulders.” At this point I crack a smile because I think she is joking. All I get in return is a blank stare. If that doesn’t turn you haters into believers, stop reading.

Glad we’re on the same page. My question is: how big is too big? I think we can all agree that girls with small hoops can be left out of this discussion. This includes hoops that are smaller than 2 inches in diameter. The next group may be somewhat controversial. I call this group the Training Wheel Group. It includes hoops that are 2.5-3 inches in diameter. They’re not big, but they’re not small either. As one girl (different girl from before) so eloquently put it, “Maybe I’m a whore in training.” This makes me think that girls with medium hoops can swing either way. They can go from prude to promiscuous the way Brett Favre… you know what I mean. I’m not sure about this though, it’s only a theory at this point. Feedback would be appreciated.

Finally, onto the big hoop wearers. In my opinion, 4 inch hoops are full-fledged whore status. Most of the time when I see a girl with 4 inch hoops, the rest of the outfit matches the look. Shirts with artificial tears in them (so Abercrombie & Fitch in 7th grade). Tight spandex looking pants. Stripper heels. I almost forgot the hair – in most cases it is pulled back, sometimes gelled.

Some of this stuff may be controversial with the female audience (if we have one), but I call it like I see it. If you want to voice your opinion, leave a comment.

- B (still working on a nickname)

What's Good?

Yooooo first official post from your man here!  I'm not going to really get in-depth about myself as you'll probably figure me out over the time of this blog so lets skip the BS and get straight to the point.  Boston Nightlife baby!  Get with it, I wanna make love to it, can I get an Amen?!  I can honestly say I get cold sweats when thirsty Thursday comes around; maybe that's the alcoholic in me, but I'm pretty sure its the excitement I get when the weekend is near. To get back to the point, Boston's full of Bars and Clubs;  Do the math,  stuff  be poppin every night and man I'm going to blog the shit out of it and share it with all of you!  So come hop in the DeLorean, cause we bout to punch dis to 88.

PS - Yes that's me pictured above, yes that's a typical Saturday night and yes I'm a sloppy mess..See your already getting to know me.

-Matt

Greetings from Boston Nightlife's Founders

Welcome friends. I want to start off by giving you’s guys a background of why I started this blog. My friends and I enjoy partying/having fun in Boston.  A lot of this fun-having entails watching other people making fools of themselves. So, as I was watching a Windows 7 commercial (which was my idea), a different idea popped into my head. Why not share our experiences with those who don’t have as much fun as we do? Brilliant. Stay tuned for a feature on each member of our crew. But for now, to give BN Nation an idea of what kind of nightlife we are talking about, here’s how we roll…

Places we hang out at the most:

- Rev Rock Bar
- Joshua Tree
- Hurricane O’Reilly’s
- Skanktuary
- McFadden’s (I have still yet to win a happy hour)

Places I will never go again:

- Bell in Hand
- Hennessy’s
- Liquor Store (don’t get me started)
- Ned Devine’s
- The Place (shithole)

Places we go once in red moon:

- Whitehorse tavern
- The Draught (is that the right spelling?)
- Tia’s
- T’s
- Gypsy Bar
- Tequila Rain (where it’s spring break 52 weeks a year!)
- Landsdowne Pub (Bill’s)
- Lir
- McGreevy’s
- Pour House
- Rattlesnake
- Greatest Bar
- Splash (my friend brings a potato sack every time we go here)
- Sissy K’s (nice)
- West End Johnnie’s
- The Estate (not on Thursday nights)
- Umbria Prime (almost on the list of places I will never go again)
- Market

Places we want to try:

- Royale
- Underbar
- Atlantic Beer Garden
- Baseball Tavern
- Saint
- Mantra (just kidding)

         - B (I’m still trying to think of a cool nickname)