Power of the Post-Up

Women are attracted to power. Conversely, women love men who dominate them.  Before you pour a bunch of 21^st century “women have equal rights” hatorade on me, I’m not talking about the workplace; I’m talking about the courting process, the wooing process, the chase.

Before Ford built the model T, Gutenberg the printing press, and even before the wheel, back when our ancestors were living in caves, being all Bear Grylls and shit,  how did guys get girls? Guys got girls by demonstrating that they could protect them; the girl neanderthals were attracted to the guy neanderthal with the biggest stick. Women chose dominant men who could fend off dinosaurs (a la Jurassic Park) and prevent other tribes from potato-sacking them. Guess what? Women are still attracted to men who have the biggest stick. Women want men who exude power, just like their ancestors did. However, instead of fighting raptors with our bare hands (ultimate form of chivalry), the closest thing guys have today is the “post-up.”

In the right setting, nothing conveys more power than the “post-up.” A post-up typically occurs after a guy has built some rapport with a girl either through dancing or conversation.  As the two become more comfortable with each other’s presence, the moon’s gravitational pull draws the couple closer and closer to a wall. Then, in one fell-swoop, the guy moves in on the girl. He is so close that she has nowhere to backup, and he pins her against the wall like a fly in a web. He finishes the post-up by putting one arm above each of the girl’s shoulders and resting his palms against the wall for support.  Leaning in, he begins whispering sweet nothings in her ear (telling her how his ancestors used to eat t-rex babies for fun). In this pose, the guy is in complete control, displaying spatial reign, and body language that hints at sexual prowess. The girl’s eyes become dreamy as she looks up at her protector. Their eyes meet, and two bodies become one in a sight that would make Chuck Norris weak in the knees.

-          M. Night Thunder